Dating Apps or a Matchmaker? Choosing How to Date in Chicago

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Key Takeaways:

Apps are self-directed and high-volume: users screen, message, and set the pace. Matchmaking is guided, with a matchmaker getting to know a client before any introduction.
Pew Research Center’s February 2023 report (survey conducted July 2022) found that about one in ten partnered U.S. adults met their partner on a dating site or app, and one in five among partnered adults under 30.
April Davis says the people on apps are rarely the problem. The cost is the time involved and the guessing about who is on the other end.
LUMA says its matchmaking is confidential, with first-name introductions and no public profile.
Matchmaking is not for everyone. It is not a fit for people who want unlimited matches, instant results or a guaranteed relationship.

Dating apps hand the search to the user; a matchmaker does the searching for them.

Dating apps and professional matchmaking both promise to shorten the search for a partner. They go about it in opposite ways. LUMA’s guide to dating in Chicago, written by founder April Davis, frames the choice between them as a question of fit, not a contest, and lays out the differences.

How do dating apps work?

Apps put the whole process in the user’s hands. A person builds a profile, screens matches, starts conversations and sets the pace. The guide calls them self-directed and high-volume by design and notes that Hinge, Bumble and Tinder come up most often in Chicago dating guides. For some people, that control is the appeal.

Apps do lead to relationships for some. Pew Research Center’s February 2023 report found that about one in ten partnered U.S. adults met their current spouse or partner on a dating site or app. Among partnered adults under 30, the figure was one in five.

In Davis’s view, the people on apps are rarely the problem. The cost is the time involved and the guessing about who is on the other end. A big pool can also work against daters. “When there is always someone else to meet, it gets easy to treat every person as replaceable,” Davis writes.

How does professional matchmaking work?

Matchmaking reverses the setup. At LUMA, professional matchmaking starts with a conversation. A matchmaker asks a new client to describe themselves, where they are from and what their story is before considering any match. The guide describes the matchmaker as doing the searching and vetting, with hand-selected introductions in place of a feed of profiles.

LUMA says the work is confidential, with introductions on a first-name basis and no public profile. Clients meet first and then decide whether there is chemistry, according to the guide.

What does each one cost in time and money?

Apps ask for hours: browsing, messaging and weighing who is worth meeting. A matchmaker takes over the searching, which is why the guide points to people with long working hours. Money is the other cost. LUMA’s pricing is custom. The guide notes that if LUMA is not the right fit for a reader’s budget, its advice is still theirs to use.

Neither route removes the need to show up. Davis says no one, including a matchmaker, can do that on a client’s behalf. “Love may happen naturally, but that does not mean it happens accidentally,” she writes.

Matchmaking also asks for an open mind. The guide describes a client who nearly turned down a match because of the match’s profile, met anyway and afterward admitted to being wrong.

Who should use a dating app, and who should use a matchmaker?

The guide’s reasoning comes down to a few points:

Apps suit people who like to browse at their own pace, can spare the time to screen and message, and are comfortable with a high-volume search.
Matchmaking suits people serious about a long-term relationship who want a private, guided process. The guide says it tends to fit people who are busy, selective, tired of apps and open to honest feedback.
Matchmaking probably isn’t the right fit for people who want unlimited matches, instant results, a guaranteed relationship, or a specific person made to order. LUMA says it does not promise instant love or a guaranteed relationship.

The choice does not have to be permanent. Davis’s separate list of 29 alternatives to dating apps includes hiring a matchmaker alongside options such as classes, leagues and volunteering. The Chicago guide also suggests pairing an app with one real-world habit if the app alone is not working. LUMA’s Chicago matchmaking page has details, and LUMA also offers matchmaking in Illinois beyond the city.

Whichever tool fits, the advice is to give it a fair try and change course if it is not working. LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, established in 2010 by Davis, runs an elite dating service for professionals and executives seeking long-term relationships, with matchmaking across the United States.